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Son Turns 18: A Father’s Advice

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My Dear Son,

You turn 18, and I am engulfed in a kaleidoscope of emotions. You will officially be an Adult. The World opens out for you with fabulous opportunities while you will also be enticed with equally powerful vices. What you choose and how you decide will take you to a place and position where you will live much of your life. I wish you will choose the right, and the best options.

Your Mother and I have tried to bring you up well with the right values. I want you to know that it was truly a pleasure to bring you up. You were one of the sweetest child, never troubled us, never asked for things unnecessarily, had less demands unlike children of your age, not fashion conscious, always understood the priorities of the family, kind hearted, who always stood for your friends, a good student to your teachers, and a good son to us.

As you turn 18, I would like to you, go forth and blaze your trail. Do well in whatever you choose to do, Be the best, yet never burn yourself to do that. You may spend, and within limits, you may enjoy and even that has limits. Be balanced in Life, in relationships, in Work. Balance is the Key in life.

I would love you to do what you feel is good for you, your future. Remember, Money does buy you stuff, it may ease a lot of things in life, yet there are many things that Money can never get and that is True Friendship, True Love and a Loving Family. So invest in your Friends and Family. That will stand you in good stead under all circumstances. There may be times when you will have to choose between Money, Health and Family….always choose Health & Family, you will never regret, because Money can always be made.

Every action of yours, need not end in success. Never be too proud of what you achieve, and Never feel too sad about what you lost. Failures are great if we know how to Fail Forward. Learn from each action, improve and you will definitely succeed in your aim. In everything keep Human Beings a priority. Be a good human being. That is important as much as punctuality, discipline, loyalty, honesty, sincerity and all other values you have learnt.

I have attempted to translate for you, a poem in Malayalam, I received from an unknown author.. This encapsulates an advice I would love you to keep in mind

Whom should I become, asks my child, and I answer, whoever you become, Become Good

For that Flower, standing in the fiery hot afternoon sun, Be a cool hand, who can give succor to it;

For that Life, struggling for a drop of water, Be the Water, on its tongue;

For that Person, standing alone in danger, Be the Faith, who can guide him;

For the Earth, parched dry and cracked, Be the Rain, that will fill the Earth up;

For the Traveler, who is sun burnt and tired, Be the Shady Tree, where he can rest;

For the Student, struggling in the rain, Be an Umbrella, to keep his books dry;

For the Fisherman, lost in the deep sea, Be the Light house, which can guide him safely back ashore;

For the Calf, crying and searching in the crowd for its lost mother, Be a Mother;

For the Person, suffering from hunger, Be a handful of food;

For the Woman, needing security at night, Be a Brother;

For the Old man, shivering in the cold, Be a warm Blanket;

For the illiterate, looking for knowledge, Be a Teacher;

For the Sibling, who trips and falls, Be the support;

For your Parents, always be a good Child;

Whom should I become, asks my child, and I answer, whoever you become, Become Good!

Go forth my Son, and Be the Best in whatever you do. Be Good, Do Good! Our blessings remain with you always!

We love you!

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Comments 16
  1. A well written well articulated love for a growing Man a Son one wants to be the best . Kudos Sajan keep up the writing. Wishing dear Saahil a very happy 18th Bday.

  2. A great essay of advices for a son turning 18. In Canada, it is when they turn 19 – the age at which they can ‘officially’ drink – (do not worry. these kids have their ways out to get hold of booze even before that – in France, the drinking age is 16 and in the US it is 21),

  3. Wonderfully written Sajan, so true….!
    Wish Saahil all the best in all his future endeavours, may the Lord always keep him in his grace…

  4. Beautifully written emotions, I understand that feeling for sure, where you trust them but still worried about them you want them to go ahead and embrace their future but still want them to be close to yourself. Our best wishes and lots of love to Sahil for all his future endeavours, he is a very sensitive and a mature young man.

  5. Wish you had written it 2-3 yrs back Sajan. Things would have been so simple for me, I would have just done a cut paste job.

  6. Sir, I went through the contents of your blog word by word and I could corelate lot many things I said to my son when he left home for NIT,Bhopal to pursue Engineering. I can vouch for it if half of the things Sahil or for that matter anybody, could put to practice in life, he or she will be a good human being. Being good human is the most important thing rest everything would fall in place automatically. Very well written piece.

  7. Sajan, you have once again panned something exquisite.. Happy Birthday to Saahil.May he be all that the poem has spelt out.

  8. Well written. Incidentally my daughter ‘Smriti’ will turn 18 in Sep this year. I am sure she will love the poem. Like someone said…………….

    There may be days when
    you get up in the morning
    and things aren’t the way
    you had hoped they would be.
    That’s when you have to tell yourself
    that things will get better.

    There are times when people
    disappoint you and let you down,
    but those are the times
    when you must remind yourself
    to trust your own judgments and opinions,
    and to keep your life focused
    on believing in yourself
    and all that you are capable of.

    There will be challenges to face
    and changes to make in your life,
    and it is up to you to accept them.
    Constantly keep yourself headed
    in the right directions for you.
    It may not be easy at times,
    but in those times of struggle
    you will find a stronger sense
    of who you are,
    and you will also see yourself
    developing into the person
    you have always wanted to be.

    Life is a journey through time,
    filled with many choices;
    each of us will experience life
    in our own special way.

    So when the days come
    that are filled with frustration
    and unexpected responsibilities,
    remember to believe in yourself
    and all you want your life to be,
    because the challenges and changes
    will only help you to find
    the dreams that you know
    are meant to come true for you.

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